Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
