Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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