I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Boobs are out for the taking
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
