Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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