Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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