ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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