I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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