you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
