he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
