Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
