you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I've blown a few things in my day
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
