i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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