real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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