And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
