i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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