And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
