i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
