so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
