She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
