i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I need moral support for this bender
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
