Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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