He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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