Capitaan dildo arrescate!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
