It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
