the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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