Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
