Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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