i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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