omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
