At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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