The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
