where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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