Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
