Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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