I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
