also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
