the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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