didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I want to make a zoo with you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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