The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize