what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
