Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
