I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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