$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
