I don't remember. Are we still dating?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
