The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
