i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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