He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
