suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
