Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
