i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
